November 18, 2015

I {won’t be} Home for Christmas

20141225_191308I put this here because it’s funny, but it’s also making me a little sad

Guys, this is hard. This is the hardest part of living an ocean away. PCSing here was stressful. There were times I thought it would kill me and times I thought we would kill each other. But all year I’ve been dreading this season. We have never, ever, ever missed going home for Christmas. Even when SoldierMan was deployed, I went home. Going home for Christmas was the one *given* out of everything going on in our lives. It was one of the highest high points of our year.

This year, we can’t. We just can’t.

We’re exhausted. We’ve had an intense year and the thought of going to the airport for yet another 12 hour day of travel makes me want to melt into a puddle. The thought of putting the dogs in the kennel AGAIN just feels mean. Also, in order to book them in the MWR kennel here, you had to line up at 0200 on October 1 at the gate and wait in line. That’s not an exaggeration. People literally wait overnight to get a spot.

Also, it’s not exactly cheap. We could do it, but basically our presence would be everyone’s present. Congratulations.

So we’re not going. I miss it already. I miss the chaos of seeing everybody on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day – which means we actually get to see everybody. I miss the Christmas carol singalong with my huge Christmas Eve family. I miss that cousins of mine who haven’t lived in Oklahoma for years are actually going to be there this year (of course!). I miss everyone. I miss everyone.

There are benefits to staying here, of course. We’re actually going to decorate the outside of the house for Christmas, which hasn’t been done in years. And money that would be spent on plane tickets can instead be spent on people.

But I’m still dealing.

Jeb Santa

Jeb santa hat collage, because it’s not Christmas without it


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