December 5, 2014

5 Songs NOT on My Christmas Playlist

Me and My SoldierMan: 5 songs NOT on my Christmas playlist

Y’all who are following my facebook page (which is all of y’all, right???) know that I love Christmas music. In fact, I love most Christmas music. But not all Christmas music. There’s always that song (or songs) that make you groan when they come on the radio and you just have to turn it because oh my gosh who thought this was a good idea.

Please say it’s not just me.

Now, I realize that putting some of these on this list will lose me some “Good Will to All Men” points, but really, these just need to die in a fire.

In no particular order, here are 5 Christmas Songs I just can’t handle listening to:

  • Grown Up Christmas List

    I don’t care if it’s Amy Grant. I don’t care if it’s Kelly Clarkson. Or anyone. It’s just a sad, annoying song. I could use some really pretzel-logic theology and justify it by saying that her “grown-up Christmas list” is actually a coded reference to Heaven – no more war, pain, sadness, brokenness, loneliness, etc. And so it’s encouraging people to hope for Heaven, so Jesus, so Christmas, or something.

    But, of course, that’s not what the song says. And not what it means. It’s just a sappy song that feels good to sing (I mean vocally, it’s pleasant to sing) but meh.



  • Hard Candy Christmas

    This is one of those songs that gets on the rotation, but other than the word “Christmas” in the title, I see no reason why. It doesn’t really have anything to do with Christmas. Doesn’t even vaguely reference Santa or world peace. Y’all know I love Dolly, but this one gets a hard pass from me.

    And what’s wrong with hard candy, anyway? Life Savers FTW.



  • Happy Xmas

    Hippy crap has no place at Christmas. This is hippy crap.

    Not on my lawn. Not on my Christmas.



  • Christmas Shoes

    Ugh. Ugh. Blah. Ugh. It’s like those creepy viral voyeur videos – “Watch to see a mother rock her dead baby and cry her eyes out.” It’s just wrong.

    I even tried listening to the first minute or so just to pull something from the lyrics, but I can’t even. STAHHHHHHP



  • Do They Know It’s Christmas

    I get that it’s catchy, and Sting is mixed in there somewhere, but it was a fundraiser 30 years ago, and says there “won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas.” Of course, Africa isn’t just one big country, and the countries that do get snow, get it during their winter months, which are during our summer months. So, technically, there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas. Because it’s summer. Not because Africans can’t afford snow. Or something.


    For a thorough (and deserved) thrashing of this song and the people who made it, The Federalist had a great piece on the history of this song here.

That’s the short list. And the worst part about these songs is that, once you hear them, they get stuck in your head for days.

Sorry about that.

16 comments:

  1. There are very few Christmas songs I will willingly listen to on my own. I actually like the Lennon one, it doesn't grate my nerves as much as most do. But then again, I'm a grinch and a bit of a hippie. :)

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  2. CHRISTMAS SHOES. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.
    I've never heard the Dolly one before. I could only listen to about 30 seconds of it, though.

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    Replies
    1. It's on the rotation back home maybe every half hour. Do. Not. Get. It.

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  3. Hate those songs and more! Step into Christmas and Last Christmas drive me bonkers. Also, I might be the only person I know who hates the entire Mariah Carey Christmas cd.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know Step Into Christmas...at least not by title

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  4. I have literally never heard of any of those songs except the last one.

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    Replies
    1. I'm impressed....but really? Even Grown Up Christmas List? That sucker is everywhere

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  5. I am not a fan of the Mariah Carey one. All I Want For Christmas Is You. All I want is for people to stop playing that song!

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    Replies
    1. Awww that was one of my deployment Christmas songs :)

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  6. I can't stand Last Christmas! Drives me CRAZY! So whiney!

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  7. Ew. And "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time." Egh. Its too repetitive!

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    Replies
    1. Yes! And it's ALWAYS on in the store when you're shopping!

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  8. I present to you...the most horribly fantastic Christmas carol

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok5rOO2v2dU

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  9. I love Hard Candy Christmas! It's on my top Christmas song list.

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