The 4th of July had a secondary significance to me: it was the end of the second round of 90 days of being healthier. Last time, I told you I wasn’t tracking weight or sticking to a regimented diet, just being more active and eating more conscientiously (sans guilt!) and tracking my progress with measurements. I hit my “peak” at 10 inches lost during that time and averaged working out 4 days a week.
So how did Round 2 go?
First, the good things.
My eating habits are certainly better. I’m drinking more water, eating more vegetables and generally thinking about food less, which was another goal of mine. I do believe part of disordered eating is thinking about food too much. When one thinks about food too much, one either A) eats because an appetite has been created that would not otherwise exist, or B) doesn’t eat because emotions like fear and guilt become associated with food. Neither seems like a healthy lifestyle. So I consider that to be progress.
I upped my weight in my arms and shoulders routine. And I’m close to the point of needing a new weight set, which is both exciting and annoying because I don’t want to spend money. :p Also, while my thighs aren’t any smaller – yes, they rub, welcome to being closer to 30 than 20 – they are stronger and reshaped and generally more awesome. Now I’m working on tanning them. Same with my arms. They still aren’t “goal,” but this is the best my arms have looked since my hormones kicked in 15 years ago. So yay for that.
Now, the not-so-good things.
Bottom line: I didn’t shrink in inches. Pretty much at all, net.
I have some excuses.
- My job became so overwhelming that I came very close to stopping exercising at all because I was so physically drained already.
- I ate cake at that job. Every. Day. And I loved it and I refuse to apologize for it.
- Got put on a couple of new meds, the side-effects of both being weight gain.
- Had some other health issues which culminated in the termination of aforementioned job (yes, I’m now unemployed, again)
Basically, it’s not fun sitting in a doctor’s office and hearing “heart attack zone.” So I got put on stronger meds, quit my job, and refocused on being (becoming) healthy.
That was 1 month ago, give or take. Since then I’ve reclaimed some of the regression I slid down during that really awful beginning part. I have created healthy habits and I’m staying positive. Every day is a chance to do better than the day before.
And I’m trying to teach myself to be happy with myself, “in whatsoever state I am.” (Philippians 4:11) Because it occurred to me that there will come a day when I no longer have as much control over my body as I do today, if I live long enough. I will have less of a say in what I am and am not allowed to eat, how much activity (and what kind) I can engage in, and eventually all this will be a memory of things passed. I could wind up spending the last 15 years of my life in a wheelchair, and then how much of a difference will all of this have ultimately made? I need to be able to be happy with myself then as much as I am now, or will be “one day,” whenever “one day” comes.
So I’m trying to be responsible, conscientious and all of that, but while I’m training my body, I’m working on training my mind as well.
So. All that said. I didn’t take special pictures of me flexing in spandex to commemorate this milestone. I know you’re disappointed.
And my laptop is busted so I’m pulling pictures off of facebook for this post. But here are some pictures of me over the last 90 days. For the record.
So there ya go. Day 90: Round 2 complete. I had high hopes for this round but you know what, I survived it, and that’s what the most important thing is. I am already into Round 3 and feeling good. And hopefully, Round 3 will involve some awesome homecoming pics! (Fingers-crossed!)