January 13, 2011

I Think You Have Me Confused With Someone Else....

So, this week marked some exciting events for us.

First of all, after waiting for what seemed like forever, we finally got our mail keys!

In case you don't know, the mail system here is unusual. No, I'll just say it - stupid. See, we live in a house. In a neighborhood. Off-post. And the mailboxes are all centrally located in the neighborhood, like at an apartment. So when we moved in, the previous owners didn't pass on the mailbox key. You have to go to the Post Office and order new ones, and they take about a week to come in. Yesterday, ours finally came! It also meant we were able to get some of the mail that had already been sent here. That was very exciting.

Otherwise, the house is coming along quite nicely. We've got all the "public" areas of the house almost completely done - just a couple of decorations I'm waiting on to come in. Then I can start taking and posting pictures. Right now our room is still a disaster, so that will be later. But pictures are coming soon, I promise.

Also, I went to our PX for the first time yesterday. I was not prepared for the awesomeness that is the Ft. Bliss PX. Seriously amazing. I'm going to go again in a few days and take pictures so I can post them here and make all of you jealous. Yup, I said it.

The big BIG news, of course, is that SoldierMan finally got his new unit assignment this week. It's a pretty good gig - a brand new company forming down here (there are a lot of them, apparently). He really likes it, which is awesome.

But then today after he got off work, we were eating lunch (yeah, it's Thursday at Ft. Bliss. :)) and he said, "Oh, the 1SGT wanted me to ask you if you would be the FRG leader."

*insert squeeling tire screech*

Say what??

Yeah, there are so few people in the company as of yet, and even fewer of them are married. I guess the 1SGT is also going to see if his wife will do it, and I really hope she does. I mean, really, I've never even been in an FRG, let alone in a leadership position in one. I haven't taken my AFTP courses (or whatever they're called). I have literally done nothing and I have no idea what on earth an FRG is really supposed to look like or what an FRG leader would do.

Here's the thing: I planned on being involved in our FRG when we got here. I've held officer positions in other community organizations before, I like being involved and working synergisticly in a group and all that. That's great. But I know that, even though there are less than half-a-dozen wives in this company so far, (it's an Infatry company, so there are only wife-dependents, no husbands) I am certainly not the most qualified person for this job.

And yet...

I have a really hard time saying "no" to people. I don't like rejection and I don't like rejecting others. And there is obviously a need for someone to fill this position or, hello, they wouldn't be coming to me!

I'm secretly really hoping that the 1SGT's wife will agree to man up the FRG, or at least maybe she'll consider co-leading with me until we get a Commander whose wife will take over. (And you better believe I'm crossing ALL my fingers and toes that he's married!)

Have any of you led an FRG before? Should I really be so freaked out? Or should I run, run away and wait until I've got more than a year in TRADOC under my belt?


  1. Run away. Far, far away. ;-)

    I'm just kidding. You already know my thoughts on this. I just couldn't help myself.

  2. Ok, while being an FRG leader is demanding, thankless and dramatic, it's a noble thing to do.
    I was a battalion commander's wife and thus, the senior advisor to the FRGs so I KNOW the need for these volunteers.
    I would suggest contacting the
    1SG's wife, tell her your concerns and fears, and tell her you're welling to help her. That may be the push she needs to take it. AND because she's the 1SG's wife, you may get less drama. Take the classes, they are wonderful. Experience is not needed and there are LOTS of great resources.
    Write me directly if you want more info.

  3. I think you're perfectly fine to be honest and say that you are feeling totally underqualified for the position, but that you'd be happy to help and learn as you go. I think you're right to ask to not be involved as a leader of something you've never experienced. I've been doing just that this past year, and the most frustrating thing is that others, who have been in an FRG before haven't really seemed to warm up to the idea that it can be something enjoyable and beneficial. I don't mean to say you shouldn't be involved - I'm still optimistic about the whole thing. I just think to commit yourself to all that frustration isn't worth it. Even in a co-leader or "apprentice" type roll, I think you'd be much better served... and so would the other spouses.

  4. I know you are glad to finally get settled in to the new place. I can't wait to see pictures!

  5. Our mail system here in Canada is like that too, I wish they would just deliver it to our house lol. When we moved, they left the keys for us, they just didn't tell us which mailbox was ours. Glad to hear that you're settling in nicely (I've been a lurker of your blog for a bit and I LOVE reading it, finally decided I would comment lol).

  6. That's awesome! But so overwhelming. Man.

  7. Hmmm...

    Ok, this is generalization, but I'm basing it on being the FRG Secretary for a period of about 5 months-and it was not an experience I would wish on others.

    I have known some women who had great experiences with FRG, so take this with a grain of salt. Maybe since you'd be leading it and it's a new place you could shape it into something fantastic!

  8. I'm happy to hear that the Ft. Bliss PX is something to talk about. Ours here at Hunter Army Airfield is nothing to write home about. :) We'll be PCSing to Bliss in June.

    I've done the FRG gig before and honestly the FRGs in different units vary so much. A lot of it has to do with the need - are they going to be deploying? If they are, then it's going to be really important to get information out. People are going to be more apt to stick together and meet people before the deployment.

    We happen to be at a non-deploying unit (well 1 or 2 guys at a time) and no one is interested at all. I was asked to head up the FRG and passed. My hubby has been a 1SG for 5 years and I know I should have stepped up and done it, but I didn't feel like I had the time to devote to it.

    Whatever you do, don't do it just because you feel you have to. Then you won't enjoy it!
    And do get out there and take some classes!


  9. That's awesome that you're getting settled in and got the keys finally!!

  10. Oh man. I can't even imagine being asked to be the FRG leader. I would only have about a million and two questions, and would definitely not feel adequate for the job! Hope it all works out, you can do it if anyone can.

  11. I'm currently the FRG leader for my hubby's unit. I had no experience whatsoever going in to it...and it's been quite a learning experience. It does require a good bit of time but I think that is because our unit is deployed. Although, there are some headaches overall I really enjoy it and I am glad that I am a part of it. =)

  12. Although everyone keeps saying how they hated being an FRG leader, I have always wanted to be one, maybe due to the fact that I wanted to be better and more professional.

    I suppose a lot of your work would depend on the unit and their communication with you. If they don't do their job right, you will have a hard time doing your job right, spouses will get annoyed and frustrated and you would feel miserable.

    If you truly believe you can make a difference and have the time for it, I'd say go for it!


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