August 29, 2010

Sunday Shortie

SoldierMan and I were talking the other day about age differences in relationships. A friend I had in high school is dating someone who went to the same high school as we did - except when we were in high school, he was in Jr. High. SoldierMan pointed out that this isn't high school and age isn't that big of a deal once you're past the teens. I said it still weirded me out, because I still see him as a "kid," even though he's (surely...I'm assuming...) in his 20s. Or at least 20. And then we started talking about whether it's different if the guy or the girl is the older one, and what types of "limits" there are as to weirdness-factor.

I read in last month's Vogue about a couple where the woman was something like 25 years older than her boyfriend. They said they were very happy, they lived together and both had careers, but they weren't in the relationship with the expectation that it would be "till death do us part."

Anyway, what do you think? It's kind of a non-issue for us - we're the same age (2 months and 24 days apart....he likes to remind me). Is there a cutoff for you before you say, "Hey, it may work, but it's still weird!"??

13 comments:

  1. I always dated older guys before I met Mr. Superman and my limit was 7 years older than me but I was 16, 17 then 18 and so some people were weirded out because these other guys were in and some already graduated from college. I know some people that are married that while the man was in college the woman was in elementary school. Thinking like that, its bizarre but I think once you're older it isn't really an issue as long as there is respect, love and happiness. Now if we swing to an Anna Nicole situation, that is messed up because you know she was just a gold digger. I also think its sort of bizarre when its a woman in her 50's and 60's and a guy in his 20's That just kind of grosses me out but to each his own.

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  2. My aunt and uncle are 13 years apart. She was 27 when she married him though. They really do make it work. I also babysat for a lady that got married at 18 and he was 32. That feels crazy to me but now in her late 30s they are still really happy.

    But it does seem weird to be so far apart in age.

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  3. My husband graduated college in 2000. I was a freshman in high school, going into my sophomore year. It sounds crazy when you think of it like that, but I'll turn 26 this fall and he just turned 33. That's not do bad. When I'm 60, he'll only be 67. That's definitely not awkward at all! When you stop tothink about when people were young, it's creepy!

    I find it still awkward when the woman is older by anything more than a year. Society just kind of tells us the man should be older. There's no reason why. I know couples where the girl is older. You just think of the maturity factors: like what in the world could Demi Moore see in Ashton Kutcher? At the same time, there is definitely an age difference. Anything more than like 7-10 years is creepy. Even then, for me personally, is pushing it.

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  4. In my experience, I was always much more mature than guys my age (and definitely younger guys). J is a nice 6 years older :) Love him and loved his ambition!

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  5. My boyfriend and I are about 4 year apart. Which means when he was graduating high school I was graduating either. It's sound kind of sketchy when you think of it that way, but we didn't meet and start dating till I was almost 22. And that point the 4 year age difference isn't really an issue.

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  6. I think the stigma for age completely changes once you get out of school for most people. I have an age that I would never date someone but with getting older, it gets re-evaluated a lot lol.

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  7. I agree that the stigma changes once you get out of school although I admit I still find it strange when I see women dating much much younger men. One of my employees is married to a woman 15 years older than him so he's only a couple years older than his stepdaughter. I find it very strange, obviously! But to each their own I guess! I don't think I could ever date a man significantly younger than me.

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  8. I've dated older and younger than me. I've dated far younger than me (5 years) and that was a mess. The guys who were older, some were great, one of them pretty much destroyed me by cheating on me with a girl four years younger than I am.

    P is three years younger than me, and honestly, at first I was concerned about the age difference. But most of the time, I don't notice it and don't have a problem with it. His age shows through occasionally, but we're in a great place.

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  9. I think age matters less and less as you get older. DM and I have a 10 year age gap, but we're at pretty similar points in our lives, and more importantly, have similar outlooks on what is important and what isn't worth the stress. I don't think I would date a younger guy because I do find there tends to be a maturity gap between man and women of the same age, but you never know what you'll feel or do when you meet someone special, so it's all a bit of baloney, frankly! :)

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  10. I use to always date older guys. I said that I would never date anyone younger than me. (I only have dated 3 guys younger than me, and one is David. The other two relationships only lasted a month each) When I was 16, I went out with someone 27 or 28. When I was 18, I dated a guy that was 36. We dated two years. Most of the guys that I dated were in their late 20's, early 30's, and mid-30's. Now, I've been dating David for over a year, and he is 2.5 years younger than me. Ironic?

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  11. That's a really interesting topic. I'm a few months older than my husband, and it's never been an issue because it's such a small age difference. And I don't think it would be a problem to date a guy now who is 4 years younger. Of course it would have been a big deal then, but not now. I have to agree with SoldierMan that it's not a big deal once you're past your teens. But I do think there is a cut off. And a 25 year age difference is VERY weird!!

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  12. A kid I went to elementary school with had parent's who were 18 years apart. When his dad was graduating from high school, his mom was being born...ehh...that was too much for me, but they've been married for 30+ years now so I guess it works for some.

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  13. I think it all depends on the maturity level of the couple involved. I think more than 5-6 years younger than me would be too much, but I've met some very mature guys who are that age. But I don't have a problem with someone a lot older, unless they've become sticks-in-the-mud, with no sense of adventure. :)

    My dad is 6 years older than my mom. They were dating when she was a junior in high school, and he was a senior in college. Which sounds crazy, but she always looked older than her age. And it worked! With her parents approval and blessing, of course, as they were very involved in her life.

    It all depends on the couple and hopefully they're looking to the Lord, as they make such big decisions in their lives!

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