March 31, 2010

The sun will come out...

It's been such a beautiful week around here! Sunday was all cold and blustery - boo.

But Monday was beautiful! Sunny, warm, mild breeze. I didn't have to work - both a blessing and a curse, you know - so I decided to grab my sunglasses and bikini and enjoy some non-taxable tanning. First thing I learned - my hibernation weight is sticking around. Like totally. So, there will be no pictures or otherwise public display of said bikini. For the good of mankind.

This is all you get.

Anyway, so I pull out the deck chair okay, mom pulled it out, since it's hers and I take forever to find things in the garage and set it up on the patio next to the pool. I get all set up and comfy, and start to put on sunscreen - because I've been indoors and not tanning for about 6 months now, so I wasn't going to lay out without any protection at all! And I guess I shifted my weight or something when I leaned forward, because the chair collapsed! All my weight landed on my tailbone, which landed on the metal frame. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. I couldn't move for several minutes. I'm still sore. :(

Tailbone injuries scare me, ever since some teacher in high school told us about how people who sit and fall on their tailbone (also known as the coccyx) can in freak cases shove their spine up into their brains and die. That's probably an old wives' tale, but what can I say, I'm impressionable. And anyway, you don't want to injure your coccyx. There are some pretty important life functions for which the coccyx is primarily responsible, the least of which is sitting down. I'll leave it there.

Anyway, so for two days in a row, I've been sitting out and enjoying what vitamin D I can gather. Plus, it's sunny and warmish, but not hot, which is important. I get heat exhaustion really easily, so even laying out on an overcast day can take it right out of me. And I know I look like a trussed ham in a bikini right now, but I figure, even if I can't melt the fat away in the next couple of days, making it darker makes it look smaller....right? A little?

The rest of the day I will be packing, cleaning and generally getting ready to fly out tomorrow! I'm so excited! (not 'exited.' there's a difference, people.) And, if the sun decides to shine again, I will DEFINITELY be spending some time with him again this afternoon. :)

And now, a rant....

Don't pick a fight with me and then get upset when I don't back down. Don't confront me and then act all indignant when I prove you wrong. Don't call me names and expect not to get stomped. Don't attack the Church and then get upset that I defend her. And don't you dare try and get into a sob story pissing contest with me. We've all got sob stories. You can always find someone who's led a harder life than you. And once your fish story gets as big as a blue whale, don't act shocked when I'm no longer sympathetic.

There. I feel better now.


  1. Dang girl. You tell 'em. :)

    I'm so jealous that you're laying out. Our weather in Ohio cant make up its damn mind, so we go from low 60s to low 40s in a few days. It sucks.

  2. The weather just got sooo nice here and I was so excited to at least sit outside and tan my face and arms (as I wouldnt put the baby through a cooking process in my tummy haha) and now we have builders in so I cant : ( Urghhhh

  3. bahahahaha. the weather is beautiful... i'm tannning..... everything is lovely..... BAM!! zinger!
    enjoy that sun and share with IL :O)

  4. I feel you on the hibernation weight, I am heading to the gym today... or at least I am going to attempt to. I'm not sure how well it is going to work out with a 18 month old in tow. Have a wonderful and safe trip tomorrow. You had me laughing with your last part!

  5. Ohhh, tanning! That's the main reason why I run. I love that I get a natural fast tan just by going on 3-4 mile jog. It's lovely. :)

  6. The weather is beautiful here too, but I do not have a split second free to enjoy it!

  7. Definitely not bikini weather by me yet. Soak up some Vitamin D for me! And you tell 'em sista!

  8. Oh I love that it is getting warmer out. I want to be in the sun and just soak it all up!

    I think it will be a good long while before I try a bikini

  9. I am sooo thankful for warm weather!! It's nice to just lay out and realx! Enjoy it!! :)

  10. I am jealous that you're basking in the sun, I wish I could. Okay, well, I could, but it wouldn't be pretty haha. Enjoy it for the both of us! :)

    p.s. I love the added "nontaxable tanning", you're pretty much awesome for that one. :)
    Stupid Obummer!

  11. Ouch! I am always a little afraid of pool chairs for that reason.

    I always enjoy reading your rants!!!

  12. Slightly jealous. I'm paste-y white looking. No one would ever know that I have a lot of Native American blood in me.
    But alas, they aren't opening up our pool yet so I have no where to lay out! It will come, one day. ;)
    Enjoy your trip. You have every right to be excited!

  13. Lucky! I wish I could sit outside and tan in this great weather!


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