September 1, 2009

Facebook Friends? And giveaways....

I've seen this subject (or similar ones) come up on people's blogs the last week or so, and it's nice to know it's not just me.

I wonder sometimes about the significance of being Facebook Friends with someone. I never thought it was a huge deal. I'll accept a Friend Request from pretty much anyone I have met in "real life" or knows someone I know (who will vouch for them). It's not cause I'm a Friend whore (I don't think), I just like knowing people, of all kinds. People fascinate me. Hence my obsession with the voyeuristic nature of Facebook and Blogger.

Anyway, like I say, I didn't think being Friends with someone was a major thing, so I don't really make a practice of unFriending people, either. I think I have taken a couple of people off my Friend list because I thought they were a certain person and then turned out not to be. But I've never unFriended someone because we had different views about something or even maybe had a falling out in real life. Mostly because the voyeur in me takes over I would hope that the invisible link of Facebook would at least keep open the door of possibility of reconnection.

I have, of course, been unFriended by people for various reasons. The election last year caused me to get several "breakup" messages about what a hateful racist I was. Yeah, whatever. That kind of thing I can just blow off. That's their problem, not mine.

But then a different kind of unFriending happens. At a place I used to work, right before I was fired left, most of the other employees in this office all created Facebook accounts. And, naturally, we all Friended each other.

Well, my leaving wasn't on the best terms (it's probably safe to say that now) and within a few weeks all but just a couple of people from that office unFriended me, which I discovered after I suddenly couldn't access their profiles anymore. No "why", no "bye."

Well, there was one person really a couple, but this one in particular who hadn't yet done the Facebook thing and who I felt I parted ways with amicably. Suddenly, I see a friend of mine (the only one I reconnected with from that office) leaving a comment on one of her posts. And it was kind of a big deal, because her post was a link to HER blog, detailing how she and her husband were beginning the process of adopting, after not being able to conceive.

I was so freaking excited for her. Even thinking about it now makes my heart swell. I immediately sent her a Friend Request, with a message of congratulations, and also wrote some encouragement on her blog.

I got a one-word reply on the blog: Thanks.

I was denied the Friend Request. I know, because I had the opportunity to send another one the very next day. Which I didn't. No point going where you're not wanted.

I should be clear, I was never best-best-buds with this person. But she was very encouraging to me when I got married, has a very sweet heart, and like I say, I thought we parted ways well. Apparently not.

Maybe this shouldn't be such a big deal. But it was a bit hurtful.

What do you think about Facebook Friends? Is it really a significant thing to you, like are you only friends with REAL friends, or are you a casual Friender like me? How would you react to something like this, or am I being super-overly-sensitive?

Now for the giveaways:

The Mrs. over at Trying Our Best is having a random giveaway. She always has good stuff, so be sure to go check it out, and become a follower, because her blog cracks me up!

At Bringing Kellsey Home, they are having an iPod Touch giveaway/raffle. Be sure and check out this page, even if you don't participate. You will be moved.

Also, keep an eye out for my upcoming giveaway - within the next week!


  1. well that was weird for her to be, waht's the word i'm looking for?, curt towards your comment. especially considering it was a "i'm so happy for you to begin this journey" type of thing.

    i un-friend people some. usually people that i don't really converse with via facebook anyway, and if i see a trend in unpleasant updates (say a lady that works at my daycare talking about going and and drinking... multiple times). if they actually realize that i unfriended them,. they can ask my why.
    i had one friend that was a really great friend in high school unfriend me without notice... during elections... extreme liberal vs. someone with a head on her shoulders... i guess we didn't mix too well, but i knew that was why so i didn't ask questions.

    okay, sorry for the uber long comment!

  2. I a totally a casual friender on facebook! I'm friends with a lot of people from high school and college that I am not real life friends with but I know them and they are nice etc. I don't deny friend requests unless I don't know the person or I have a really good reason to. Sorry you ran into such an unpleasant situation. That's really too bad. Unfriending people for their political beliefs is so immature. Unless someone is being completely vulgar or rude there is no reason we can't all be friends.

  3. just found your blog and am really liking it!

    ill be following, girl. take care.

  4. I am a picky friender. Mainly because I only have so many hours in the day and would rather scroll down the wall and peak into the lives of people I care about vs. someone who takes 14 quizzes a day and completely fills my life with useless knowledge like what their favorite candy bar is or what fruit they are.

    And like you - I felt the sting of being 'dumped' but it was a good friend from high school who I finally caught up with, I assume took in all my political and religious views, and decided it was too much for him, I assume. The nerve! But.. I guess I would rather rant and rave to people who care about me vs. people who are rolling their eyes at me.


I was nice and didn't turn on word verifications. Please reciprocate by having your reply-to email set and not posting anonymously.