Friday, July 18, 2014

Dear Baby G

2014-07-15 21.41.27

  • Here you are, 6 weeks old. It’s a big milestone. You are very alert and active. And I am sure you are aware of more than we realize. You like to sit on the couch, propped up in your Boppy, between Mommy and Daddy, preferably with one of us holding your hand. Of course, most of all, you love to be held. As much as possible. If you wake up from a nap on your own, you give a startled little jump.
  • Like I say, you are very aware of your surroundings. You love to stare at Daddy when he gets home from work. You can see and react when I hold your paci in front of you. We’re getting better about operating within your (very shallow) field of vision, so I know that helps.
  • The other night, I was putting on your pajamas, and when I buttoned one of the snaps on your pajamas, I snagged your skin with my fingernail. It didn’t even discolor your skin, but it still snagged you. And you screamed. Boy, you screamed. And I held you and apologized and asked if you were okay. And you threw your head back and stuck your bottom lip out and glared at me with a look of the utmost betrayal. Twice.
  • You do fantastically when Mommy has to take you to run errands. We try not to cram too much into one trip. The other day we went to the postal annex and had to stand in line for a while. You were the darling of the room. You were awake and flashing your bright blue eyes at everyone. Or course, I think you were the only person with blue eyes in the building :)
  • And now you’re ready to eat again, so I’ll stop this here. Mommy will try and be better about recording more goings-on.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Wordless Wednesday: 40 Week Compilation

5 weeks

14 weeks

22 weeks

30 weeks


Friday, June 27, 2014

Life With Baby G

  • We got newborn pictures taken this week. Lots of newborn pictures. This is a small sampling. I need to go to Hobby Lobby and buy a bunch of frames so I can start getting prints. I just love them all!
  • I know it’s really early, but I think I elicited a smile from Baby G last weekend. Once. I was tickle-kissing her neck and I swear she smiled in response. She hasn’t done it again, so I’m not putting it in the baby book, but it was pretty exciting at the time.
    Me and My SoldierMan Newborn Pic
  • One thing that for sure happened over last weekend – she started sucking her thumb. Like, legit needing to suckle and stuck her thumb in her mouth and self-soothed for several minutes. She’s done it twice so far (that I know of, who knows what happens when I’m asleep….that sounds worse than I mean it). Oh my gosh, it’s the cutest thing ever! I saw her suck her thumb several times on ultrasounds, but she hadn’t done it out “in the world” yet. And it looks exactly the same, with her little hand spread over her cheek and her little thumb in her mouth. Oh my gosh, it’s adorable! I haven’t been where I could snag a picture of it yet, but it’s on my list!
    Me and My SoldierMan Newborn Pic
  • There’s a trick to newborns I just figured out: when you feel the urge to eat/get a drink/go to the bathroom/fill in the blank, do it NOW, because in about 5 seconds her newborn spidey-sense will tingle and tell her, “Wake up! We need Mama RIGHT NOW for at least 20 minutes!” And, I mean, I love being needed, but not when I have to pee.
    Me and My SoldierMan Newborn Pic
  • I’m still working on writing up Baby G’s birth story. It’s a tricky business. On the one hand, I want to remember everything, and I feel like I do remember everything (or, I remember it the way I remember it, if not exactly the way it happened). But the internet is forever, and one day Baby G will be old enough to potentially find and read it herself, and so I’m trying to think, “What would *I* want to read my mother say about *my* birth?” And truth be told, there isn’t much. Because it’s not my birth story, it’s hers, and I want to respect that. But I also want to put down somewhere what it was like and how I felt. So, it’s tricky.
    Me and My SoldierMan Newborn Pic
  • Here’s a protip for all you mamas-in-waiting: Count diapers. Pin a chart above the changing table and make a hash mark for every one you change. I have not been doing that, and so every time we’ve gone to the doctor, they ask how many diapers (of each variety) she has per day, and I have no clue. I just say something like, “Oh, a lot,” and that’s not a very good answer. But trust me, she’s fine in this area.
    Me and My SoldierMan Newborn Pic
  • The dogs seem to have settled into our new life. Jeb is less mopey, but still pretty jealous. Like, if she’s on one arm of the boppy, he lays his head on the other arm. And Achilles doesn’t get concerned when she cries at night any more. He has the normal male reaction: rolling over and huffing before falling back asleep. Unless she legit cries, then he will glare at me until she stops.
  • SoldierMan told me the cutest thing the other day. The first thing he did when he saw Baby G was to count her fingers and toes. I don’t know why but I think that’s adorable.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

3 Weeks

Baby G 3 Weeks Me and My SoldierMan

Baby G has been here for 3 weeks now (plus a few hours). And this really isn’t about her.

While I was pregnant I tried to imagine what she would look like at 3 weeks. Not necessarily her facial features, but what a 3-week-old baby looks like generally. Their length and heft and “floppiness.”

I know 3 weeks is kind of a random age to pick, but it’s not random, for me. 3 weeks was when I had my first heart surgery. I wrote about that and the story around it at length over here, which I’d love for you to jump over and check out.

So I wondered what she would be at 3 weeks, and what I must have been at 3 weeks. And where my parents were at 3 weeks, and where I am now at 3 weeks. Right now, I can barely handle it.

My heart defects were a complete surprise. Somehow, I have no idea how, but somehow I had managed to fly under the medical radar my first three weeks of life. And in a matter of moments, my parents went from having a “normal, healthy” baby girl to…not.

I can barely handle it.

Baby G was born at 36 weeks and was put on breathing assistance and a feeding tube. She had her blood drawn and tested frequently the first week of her life. Already she’s had 3 echocardiograms to make absolutely sure she didn’t develop any of the defects I was born with. I’m very pleased to say that the consensus was that she is, after all, normal, healthy.

I try to imagine finding out at 2:00 in the afternoon today that, after all, she isn’t. Like my mom did.

It blows my mind.

I got a small taste of it at the beginning, with all the tests and uncertainty. When they finally brought her out of the Special Care nursery and put her in our room, and only then mentioned that they “might” have heard a heart murmur, and I didn’t sleep much at all that night, I just wanted lay there and hold her. One day, after a checkup where they said her weight had dropped too much and her bili levels were too high and we still had one more echocardiogram because the last two were inconclusive, my parents and my husband had sent me to take a nap, and all I could do was sit on my bed and cry and pray.

But here we are. 3 weeks and a clean bill of health. No larger issues looming. The day I’ve been waiting for.

I’m so incredibly thankful.