Thursday, August 21, 2014

If I call you a b*tch, it’s not a compliment

In case you live under a rock and weren’t aware (and I say that without judgment as my own rock has grown considerably the last couple of months) Weird Al recently released his latest album. Greatest? That’s a debate for the ages. But it is pretty darn good.

I can’t decide if this is my favorite song on the album, or just my favorite video, but it is pretty darn fun:

It wasn’t until after the fact that I realized the whole song is basically a series of “shaming.” Which, I can’t lie, makes it even more amazing the song was so popular. Because “shaming” is SO out!

Isn’t it weird how we’ve turned nearly every form of criticism – fair or unfair – into “shaming”? Why did we have to create a completely new word/category for something that’s a normal part of the human experience? (I’m slightly a linguistics nerd, so I wonder about these things. Like, why “alot” is grammatically incorrect to describe “a great amount” when “a lot” is a piece of land. Still makes no sense to me.)

Anyway, after pondering it for a while, I think I’ve come up with my answer. We have to create a new category to (essentially) shame people for being rude to us, because being rude is cool now.

Or, more specifically, being a b*tch.

I guess it makes me a fuddy-duddy, but I find the whole “b*tch pride” thing to be pretty…lame. To put it mildly. And try all you want with the word reclaiming girl power yadda yadda, it doesn’t wash. It’s just an excuse to go through life being a jerk with impunity.

If a man were to proclaim how “proud” he was to be a “powerful a-hole,” we’d roll our eyes and say, “That’s great, dude, go back to the frat house.” Or file an HR complaint.

But if a woman wants to call herself a “powerful b*tch” and treat people accordingly, well, she’s just trying to get stuff done, she’s too strong for you, she’s got “leadership skills.” Or:

Translation: if you won’t put up with my particular brand of psychological abuse, you don’t deserve the rare expressions of respect and affection.

It annoys me because it’s such a low standard. And it’s also a lie. I’ve had a bunch of jobs in a variety of industries – retail, law, energy, human services, education, real estate – and the majority of my employers/supervisors were women.

I had female bosses who were strong, intelligent, capable leaders. And I had female bosses who were b*tches.

Never both at the same time. Not once.

You know why? Because, contrary to what the plethora of pins on pinterest tell you, they aren’t the same thing.

“Like a defenseless city is a person who lacks self-control.” ~ Proverbs 25:28

B*tches aren’t strong. They are the helpless victims of their own impulses.

Online, it takes the form of mouthyness or weaponized sarcasm. In real life, it looks like bossiness, impatience, bullying, steamrolling, or simply general rage.

Of course, this is America, and if a woman wants to call herself a b*tch, that’s her prerogative. But can the adults in the room please stop pretending it’s some kind of virtue?

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Baby G pictures and stories

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

We’ve had quite a busy few weeks. While getting ready to PCS, Baby G has been growing away and I’ve been doing my best to capture as much of it as possible!

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

She’s started really smiling and silent-giggling in response to stimuli now, which of course is almost more fun than we can stand! She even smiles when the dogs come over to “check on her.”

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

My mom came to visit us for about a week. She went home yesterday. We all miss her already. Baby G, because it meant she never got set down until bedtime. Me, because – even though I didn’t get any more sleep or naps than usual – it was a welcome relief. Just something about having someone else in the house during the day lets you breathe easier.

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

Also it was nice hearing from someone other than me that my baby actually likes me. That’s something I wouldn’t have understood pre-baby. You know on an instinctive level that the child recognizes you as necessary for food and diaper relief. But hearing someone else say, sincerely, “Oh, she needs her Mama!” “Look, Mama, she’s watching you!” And feel like, even though Baby G loves her Grammy, that you can provide that special intangible something Baby G needs to calm down or be happy…

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

I don’t know, it’s hard to put into words. But it fed my soul.

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

Also, my mom chose “Grammy” as her Baby G name. I’d been on her to pick for a while (like, since before Baby G was born) and once she got here and started playing with her, Grammy is what stuck. I think it’s cute. While Grammy was here, we played Dress Up with some outfits that are about to go in the “Outgrown” box. I think I like this game. She’s more fun than Barbies!

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

Yesterday Baby G had her first round of shots. She did great most of the day yesterday, but she slept with us last night, and today has been a lot of snuggling. At the moment, she’s in her swing. So I’m taking a few minutes to get this post worked up, do a load of laundry, and even eat lunch AT lunchtime!

Me and My SoldierMan Baby G

It’s a good life I’ve got, I tell ya.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

It’s a Vlog!

As promised, here is the inaugural Me and My SoldierMan vlog, in all it’s low-production-value glory. So that there’s a point to this, I’m sharing some news and updates in the vlog that I haven’t written about on here yet. Oh, the suspense!

And please, do comment and let me know, what would be good vlog material? Current events commentary? Cooking videos in lieu of recipe posts? Maybe I’ll make the dogs do tricks or something for the next one. They’re way more interesting than I am.

Oh! And if, for whatever reason, you want to get the vlogs via YouTube rather than the blog, here is the official Me and My SoldierMan channel: (I'm so legit, y'all.)

Happy Wednesday!

Friday, August 1, 2014

Dear Baby G


  • You’re 8 weeks old! And yet, not 2 months?? I’m not sure how all that works, but apparently those are the rules.
  • I think you gave us your first real smile this week. Not just sleepy from, am actual happy smile. Daddy had been playing with you while Mommy was making your bottle, and you looked up at him and stared and smiled.
  • You're still figuring out the whole thumb-sucking thing. If I help you orientate, you'll do it. But then you poke yourself in the eye with your other fingers. And you don't like that. You compromise by sucking your ring and pinky fingers. But then you don't really know what to do with the other two fingers and thumb. So you're working on that
  • Last night, you made your Momma’s heart explode. We were having a time trying to get you down for bed, and Daddy sat you down between us in our bed, which you usually like. This time, though, you stayed fussy, and kept twisting and reaching for Momma. So I held you, and sure enough, you were out like a light. It’s nice to be wanted for something other than food!
  • We’ve started an “Outgrown” clothes box now. It seemed like this day would never come! I know in the future I’ll be sentimental and weepy about this sort of thing, but right now it’s exciting. Proof you’re a healthy, growing girl. I say, it’s like a potted plant. For weeks you aren’t totally sure you’re doing the right things, then suddenly – a bloom!
  • Your pink polka dot pajamas are almost for the Outgrown box. They’re Mommy and Daddy’s favorites, so to memorialize them, we had a little photoshoot. That’s a little silly, but you look so cute in them!